Office for Social
                          Ministry
 
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      The Diocese of
    San Diego
 
 
Have a Very Happy Thanksgiving!
 
November 23, 2004  #29     858-490-8323
 
 
 
Dear e-link Subscriber,

Membership reached 770 this morning. 

Many thanks to those who share e-link and the opportunities found in e-link to build a culture of life with fellow parishioners.  Let us never forget those among us who struggle for the basic necessities that so many of us take for granted.  Please keep those in need in your prayers this Thanksgiving.

As always, we remind current members and inform new members that past e-link bulletins and this current bulletin can be viewed at www.osmelink.org.

God Bless!

Tuesday, November 23, 2004  OSM e-link Bulletin #29

Table of Contents 


Remarks from Kent Peters on the unfortunate passage of Proposition 71

Key Upcoming Culture-of-Life Gatherings/Projects (please join us)
     - 11th Annual Posada without Borders planned for Saturday, December 18 
     - Respect Life Eucharistic Celebration to be held at the Immaculata Parish on
        Saturday, January 22nd at 4:30 p.m. - reception to follow Mass
     - Caroling for Justice - Wed. Dec. 1, Noon to 1:00 p.m. at UCSD in support of
        service employees barganing for an equitable and just raise
     - West Coast Walk for Life in San Francisco set for Sat. January 22
     - OSM offering Parish Social Ministry Course at St. Rose of Lima Parish, starting
        in January of 2005, Linda Arreola will be the instructor (bilingual)

Short Reports on Office for Social Ministry Related Issues/Events
     - SD Life Resource Network holds successful LifeWalk
     - Memorial held for homeless community members who died on the streets of
        San Diego this year, sponsored by the San Diego Rescue Mission
     - Detention ministry community says farwell to Fr. John Auther, SJ
     - Respect-Life Month concluding celbration held at Our Lady of Guadalupe
        Parish in El Centro on October 30, Bishop Cordileone presided

Advocacy Request
     - Consider purchasing coffee from Catholic Relief Services Coffee Project, or
        better yet, have your parish purchase this coffee for use at events such
        as pancake breakfasts, coffee and donut Sundays, parish meetings, etc.
     - Follow up on the Sudan (request made in e-link #25, August 4, 2004)

Advocacy Reportback
     - Mary Peters, 19, reports back as a first-time voter

Web and e-mail-based Resources
     - Visit the Catholic Relief Services Web Site to find valuable informational
        resources designed for December 1st World AIDS Day
       
Local and Regional Events/Gatherings/Projects
     - National Night of Prayer for Life set for December 8, 2004
     - Monthly Holy Hour for Life at St. Louise de Marillac Church in Crest

Article/Statement for November 23, 2004
     - Essay by Cy Kellett, When Rituals Replace Reality
(Parents will very 
        much appreciate this article).

 

Remarks from Kent Peters


A Small Miracle Found Within the Awful Passage of Proposition 71

Proposition 71 passed.  It did so by a margin of 59% to 41% - about 6.5 million votes to 4.5 million votes.  It is a time for grieving. 

The rich, the powerful, the famous, and the frightened will now, with our forced financial backing, conspire with scientists to legally cannibalize the youngest of our brothers and sisters, five-day-old human embryos, not for their spare parts but for their very bodies, creating stem lines for research in California.  The glorious Golden State has become the Drunk-with-scientific-power Cannibalizing State that will leave in its wake hundreds of thousands of annihilated fellow human beings.  What a horror.

This is a time for grieving, but our showing of 41% was, in a very real way, a miracle.  We must never forget that the entire pro-71 campaign was based on deception and raw financial power.  They raised and spent over 26 million dollars and never once in their barrage of commercials mentioned that Prop. 71’s three billion dollars would primarily fund the cloning and harvesting of human embryos for their eventual destruction.  We spent about 250 thousand dollars, less that 1/100th of their total, and yet we garnered 4.5 million votes.  How did we do that?  Well, you did that, by learning the truth about Prop. 71 and by sharing that truth with your family, friends, and neighbors.

I would like to express my profound gratitude to the Catholic community of California for its work to stop Prop. 71.  In a true grass-roots fashion, our bishops, our priests, our lay leaders (not including the cowardly Governor Schwarzenegger), and our youth made a valiant effort to block this nightmare.  I have never before seen the Catholic community so intensely engaged in opposition to a ballot proposition.  Our good intentions, our clear thinking, and our courageous speaking leave a good portion of the California electorate well informed about the death machine that is to come.  Together, we will keep a focused eye on their actions.  Our miracle of gaining 4.5 million educated voters could springboard into pulling a pall over this whole disordered enterprise, leading to its demise.

Consider the flawed moral disposition of the proponents.  They were very willing to deceive and then thrust that deception onto the public with the raw use of power.  Those building this dark edifice will now come into nearly 300 million per year, but they will need to share that prize amongst themselves.  Picture how they will be at each other’s throats and what tactics they might use to gain that first patent.  We must never waiver from monitoring each and every member of this group and then be willing to expose what we see.

Years into their destructive research on embryos, there will likely be no useable cure, but we know the truth.  There could have been so much healing if adult stem-cell therapies had been funded instead.  The proponents of Prop. 71 will look as the charlatans they are, naked under their white coats standing in front of the sterile death-edifices they will erect to kill for "progress."  What a public spectacle!  

Our project, now?  Thank God for the miracle, continue educating the larger community about life issues and adult stem cell therapies, and never waiver from scrutinizing the cannibals.

Thank you for all you did in our attempt to block Proposition 71.  God bless!

 

Key Upcoming Culture-of-Life Gatherings/Projects


Number 1:   11th Annual Posada Without Borders planned for Dec. 18, 2004


The 11th annual La Posada Sin Fronteras, the posada without borders, has been scheduled from 3:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 18 at Border Field State Park adjacent to the fence separating the United States and Mexico.  Faith-based groups from both sides of the border fence sponsor the annual event, which recalls Joseph and Mary’s search for shelter in Bethlehem on Christmas Eve.  Please join us for this unique posada.

11the Annual La Posada Sin Fronteras (Posada w/o Borders)
Saturday December 18, 2004
3:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m.
Border Field State Park
The far West end of Monument Road (off of Dairy Mart Road)

For more information call the Office for Social Ministry at 858-490-8327.

 

Number 2:  Please join Fr. Matt Spahr, The Immaculata parish community, and the staff of the Office for Social Ministry to remember in prayer all who have lost their lives due to the January 22, 1973 Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court Decision and to re-commit to building a culture of life in our local community and country.


Each year, in the depths of January, people of goodwill take time to lament the philosophy that generated the taking pre-born human life and the Supreme Court Decision, Roe vs. Wade, that unleashed that philosophy upon our culture and country. 

Each year we ask our Lord to rekindle the hope that that philosophy will some day be discarded and viewed as unworthy of human thought, and that a philosophy leading to a Culture of Life will be reestablished in its place. 

We pray for new workers for the vineyard, for strength for the many who have been involved for so many years, and for all those affected by the nearly 45 million abortions that have been legally performed since 1973.  We also recognize and pray for the end to the many other direct threats to human life: euthanasia, physician assisted suicide, and the death penalty. 

Fr. Matt Spahr, pastor of the Immaculata, will be the principle celebrant and homilist at this celebration.

Please join us to remember, to celebrate our good work, and to hope in a brighter future for humanity.
  
 

January 22, 2005 Respect-Life Mass

Saturday, January 22, 2005

The 4:30 p.m. Mass at the Immaculata Parish - Reception to Follow

5998 Alcala Park, USD Campus, just off of Linda Vista Road
(free parking in the new parking structure two blocks East of the Church)

Click on the photo of The Immaculata above for a map to The Immaculata:


For information or questions about this event, contact Jo Brower at 858-490-8323.

 

Number 3:  Caroling for Justice with the Interfaith Committee for Worker Justice!   Come support UCSD service employees bargaining for an equitable and just raise - Wednesday, December 1, 2004, from Noon to 1:00 p.m.

The nearly 9,000 service workers within the UCSD system are the lowest paid employees, and yet, these workers have been offered a 0% raise for the next three years.  Technical workers and more skilled health care workers have been offered a 10% raise over those same three years, some even a 30% raise.  This just isn't right!  San Diego is the 2nd most expensive region in California in which to live.

Why is it that those at the very bottom, those least able to survive in our economy, are the ones routinely asked to sacrifice during difficult times?  The new chancellor received a $70,000 raise this year.  Service workers deserve an equitable raise, a pay system that respects their years of experience, and a chance to advance within the system.

Caroling for Justice
Wednesday, December 1, 2004
Noon to 1:00 p.m.
Price Center Lawn on the Campus of UCSD


MEET AT THE PRICE CENTER PLAZA ON THE CAMPUS OF UCSD
WE WILL PROCESS TO THE OFFICE OF THE CHANCELLOR,  CAROLING FOR A JUST CONTRACT FOR THE UNIVERSITY’S SERVICE EMPLOYEES
Park in the Gilman Parking Structure, bring $2 in quarters for the meter,
15 minute walk to the Price Center Plaza

For more information contact Bet Lawrence at the ICWJ at 619-584-5744, ext 60.
 

 

Number 4:   Walk for Life West Coast set for January 22, 2004 in San Francisco

Planned for those who would like to travel to Washington DC for the National Walk for Life but don't have the time or resources, join thousands at the first annual Walk for Life West Coast!  Walk to affirm that the West Coast supports Life in all its stages.  Walk to challenge the belief that abortion is a good choice for Women.  Walk to show that women--and all people--deserve better than abortion.  Walk to proclaim that Life is the best and only choice!

Come together and walk 2 scenic miles along San Francisco's waterfront--from Justin Herman Plaza to the Marina Green.  Get involved!  Help to make this a real statement for Life to the West Coast.  Organize your churches, charter buses for schools, youth groups, and families.  Make this a fun weekend in San Francisco!

To learn more about the West Coast Walk for Life click on the logo above or the web address below:

http://www.walkforlifewc.com/

or call, 415-586-1576.

Walk for Life - West Coast
Saturday, January 22, 2005
11:00 a.m. Gathering - Walk begins at Noon
San Francisco at the Justin Herman Plaza on Market Street

 

Number 5:  The Office for Social Ministry, through the Diocesan Institute, will offer its 15 hour course, Parish Social Ministry, beginning in January of 2005 at St. Rose of Lima Parish in Chula Vista.  Linda Arreola will be the instructor, and the course will be bilingual. 


S1070s Parish Social Ministry (15 hrs)
Bilingual Course
Linda Arreola, M.A.
Mondays: Jan. 24, Feb. 28, March 28,
April 25, May 23 & June 27
6:30 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.
St. Rose of Lima, Chula Vista
 

 

Linda Arreola, instructor

To register on-line click on Linda's photo or go to:

http://www.diocese-sdiego.org/set.asp?link=institute.htm&in=Ministries

 

Course topics include: the place of social ministry in the mission of the parish, models for its organization, and methods for developing active parish social ministry.

For more information contact Linda at 858-490-8327.

 

 

Short Reports on OSM Related Issues/Events


Number 1:   San Diego's Life Resource Network (LRN) holds successful LifeWalk and would like to thank all those who attended.

 

The Life Resource Network has declared Life Walk 2004 an official success!  The staff at LRN want to thank each one of you for your hard work in promoting and praying for this important event.

The Life Walk drew about 600 walkers from all over San Diego County.  These walkers represent the 51 churches that promoted the event this year in efforts to raise funds that will enable the continuation and expansion of education through LRN’s Speakers Bureau.

During Life Walk promotion (August through October) LRN educated our community by addressing 157 groups.  Fifty five of these groups were students; including 7 days spent at St. Augustine High School, teaching every single student about the sanctity of human life, responsibility to others, and the beauty of chastity.

The Life Walk itself was held at two locations: Escondido and La Mesa.  The Escondido location was hosted by the St. John the Evangelist, Encinitas Knights of Columbus and St. Timothy’s Knights of Columbus.  The La Mesa location was hosted by St. Rose of Lima and Journey Community Church.  Local legislators and pastors came to show their support.

Bishop Salvatore Cordileone (see photo at left with Bishop Cordileone, Linda Stewart and Deacon Greg Smyth) gave a greeting and blessing to the walkers at Harry Griffen Park and shared words of encouragement and hope for all those committed and loyal to the life movement.

The Life Walk was a success because of the people that were involved. Lives have been changed!

Here is just one story that is a direct result of the education that the Life Resource Network does in our community:

After a recent presentation at Mesa College the professor was praising LRN’s approach to the abortion issue and telling Michaelene (President, LRN) that LRN’s message has changed the outlook of her students when one of the students approached, saying, “You probably don’t remember me, but I heard your presentation last semester.  Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant.  I panicked, dropped out of school and was planning on having an abortion.  But than I started thinking about what you had said – that many women feel pressured into having an abortion due to finances and I thought about my mother who wasn’t financially ready to have me but she did and she did a great job.  I decided that I didn’t want to be forced into having an abortion because of money.  I feel so much stronger since I made that decision and (rubbing her stomach with a smile on her face) I’m so happy I’m having this baby!  Thank you so much!  I would really like to get involved.”  (She is due in December.)

Assemblyman George Plescia (R-CA) took time off of his busy schedule to visit with walkers.  (see photo at left with Assemblyman Plescia, Michaelene Fedenburg, Executive Director of LRN, and Lynda Jeffries)

Changing one heart, one mind, one person at a time…until abortion is unthinkable!
 

 

The Office for Social Ministry would like to thank the staff and volunteers of the Life Resource Network for all they have done to help establish an educational foundation in the Diocese of San Diego that makes possible monumental cultural change in favor of respect for human life.

 

Number 2:   Each year, in November, the San Diego Rescue Mission sponsors a memorial service for the homeless members of our community who have died on the streets during the past year.

 

 

To the left is a collage of just a few of those who read the names of the deceased at this year's memorial service, along with the placard containing the names of those who died.

(seen reading the names are: Msgr. Joe Caroll, President of St. Vincent De Paul Village, Imam Sharif Battikhi of the American Islamic Services Center, Rabbi Alexis Roberts of Congregation Dor Hadash)

 

 

Following are the remarks given by Jim Jackson, Director of the San Diego Rescue Mission, as he opened the service. 

Nearly 10,000 of our fellow citizens are homeless this evening in San Diego County -- Some of them died alone during the past year.
 
Today is Homeless Persons Remembrance Day - Our mayor issued this proclamation because 96 people died in the canyons of our city, in vacant lots, under freeway bridges.
 
We are gathered as people of faith to remember each and every one.
 
We will celebrate their lives while being true to our various religious traditions.
 
For example --
 
Buddhist teachings emphasize our common humanity that moves us to compassion.  We can transcend suffering through compassionate acts guided by wisdom.

Hebrew prophets call us to a society ruled by justice and compassion for the poor.

Jesus of Nazareth taught us to love our neighbor as ourselves, in fact, eternal joyfulness depends upon feeding the poor and clothing the naked.

The Prophet Muhammad taught us that one of the pillars of the faith is generosity toward the poor.
 
Join us now in your own way as we remember homeless persons who died alone this past year.
 
Let us begin by reading together words of comfort and reassurance for those who mourn.  Let us read aloud together the words of the psalmist printed in your program.

Let us bring hundreds of Catholic parishioners to next year's memorial service and send a message to the community that all who reside in our city deserve respect, whether they have residences or live on the streets.

 

Number 3:   Community Celebrates with Fr. John Auther, SJ, noted detention ministry leader in the diocese, at his recent farewell dinner
 
Father John Auther, SJ, has served at Our Lady of Guadalupe in San Diego and has been actively involved in jail ministry at five different detention facilities over the last four years.  He has provided leadership and inspiration for many of the volunteers who serve in this ministry.

Jesuit leadership has called Father John to a period of Tertianship, part of ongoing Jesuit formation, during part of 2005, following his delivering a retreat in Lima, Peru.  

Father John Auther, SJ (see photo at left) paused for a photo with volunteers Leticia Cheung, Mary Terry, Barbara Walsh and Mara Martin as he was honored at a farewell dinner at St. Joseph Cathedral on November 13, 2004.  Mary Terry and Rev. Richard Brown, SJ arranged for Fr. John's parents from Arizona to be present for the dinner.

Father John has provided presence, compassion, hope and love for hundreds of inmates through his direct service in the jails and through his correspondence program from the "outside".  He has garnered the respect of inmates, jail chaplains and staff.

The volunteers who served with him, as well as Diocesan detention ministry staff, and the parishioners at Our Lady of Guadalupe will miss him and pray for his continued success wherever God sends him.

Thank you Fr. John!

 

Number 4:   A Respect-Life Month concluding celebration was held on Saturday, October 30, 2004 at Our Lady of Guadalupe Parish in El Centro.  Mass was celebrated by Bishop Salvatore Cordileone and several priests of the El Centro Deanery, and workshops in Spanish and English were given by the Office for Social Ministry, Rachel's Hope and BirthChoice of El Centro.  More that 100 participants attended.


 

 

 

Bishop Cordileone spoke on the differences between a utilitarian society and one that has accepted the One, true God.  In the utilitarian society the person has merit only if he/she is of use.  In it the members are playing God and the world is ugly and dangerous.  But in a society where God is accepted as Truth, the person is seen as having intrinsic human dignity.  In this society compassion, love and generosity is called forth.  Our role as lay persons is to transform the community and all its institutions and structures by establishing a culture of life and love.  

 

 

Following the workshops, those who stayed behind with questions for the speakers gathered for a photo with Fr. Jaime Escobedo, Pastor of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

 

 

 

 

The Office for Social Ministry would like to thank the priests of the El Centro Deanery for their work in making this celebration such a  success.

 

 

e-link Advocacy REQUEST

This is a first for e-link. Advocacy, to date, has consisted of requests to contact politicians or leaders who have the ability to change policy and benefit those who are under attack or who are marginalized.

In this issue, however, we are asking you to learn about a global farming problem and then purchase and consume a product, one that most of us use each day, from a unique source.  It's called Fair Trade Coffee.  It's a project of Catholic Relief Services (CRS).



 

 



Catholic Relief Services works overseas to provide assistance to people who struggle to survive.  This includes low-income coffee farmers.  Here in the United States, CRS supports those farmers by promoting Fair Trade, an alternative system of international trade that is rooted in the principles of human dignity, economic justice and global solidarity. 

Please click on the photo of one of CRS's coffee growers to the left or follow the link below to learn how you can order Fair Trade coffee from CRS.  Order it for your family (Fair Trade Coffee makes a perfect Christmas gift).  You may even want to propose that your parish order CRS Fair Trace Coffee for use at its functions.

http://www.crsfairtrade.org/

Thanks for promoting CRS Fair Trade Coffee! 

And then, as always, please report back via e-mail reportback@diocese-sdiego.org on how your purchase of Fair Trade coffee went.


Follow-up on a Past e-link Request (#25, August 4, 2004)

The conflict in Sudan continues.  To date, it has claimed the lives of more than 100,000 people and forcibly displaced over 1.5 million others.  The international community has not been effective in trying to secure peace in the region.  Government forces have been said to raid camps of displaced persons and have denied access to humanitarian workers.  Catholic Relief Services continues to work in Sudan.  Go to http://www.catholicrelief.org/our_work/where_we_work/overseas/africa/sudan/what.cfm to see what CRS is doing to aid the refugees and displaced persons in Sudan.

As part of the Stories of Faith Program,  the San Diego Public Library will present the film “ Sudan : Slipping Back in Time” on Monday. Nov. 29 at 6 p.m.

In addition to the other cruelties of the civil war in Sudan , slavery has become big business.  Dinka women and children are abducted by militiamen in the south and sold as slaves to their Arab enemies. Southern Sudan is black African, while the north is Islamic.  It takes $50 to buy a slave’s freedom.  A Christian aid organization has been buying the slaves from their Arab captors.  Many of the freed slaves tell of the abuse they suffered and of their longing to be reunited with their loved ones. 

At the City Heights/Weingart Branch Library’s Performance Annex, 3795 Fairmount Ave., (619) 641-6123.
 

 

e-link Advocacy REPORTBACK


From a first-time voter:

Voting for the first time in this 2004 Election year was quite a learning experience!  I was pretty excited to vote and made sure I did my homework - watching debates, nightly news stories, reading the paper, and having countless discussions with my friends and family.  When I went to the polls I felt confident and excited that I made the right decision.  I voted for someone who shared the same values as me and who I could put my trust in to lead and make the right decisions. 

Mary Peters

 

Thank you, Mary, for reporting back.  Would that all voters take the time you did to prepare for this important task.  Keep up the good work!

 

 

Web and e-mail-based Resources


World AIDS DAY Resources Found at CRS Online


In the World, AIDS Day is observed every Dec. 1 and provides a good opportunity to spread the word about the devastating effects of the global AIDS pandemic, which has taken 20 million lives since the first AIDS diagnosis in 1981. According to UNAIDS, in 2003 alone almost five million people became newly infected with HIV, the greatest number in any one year since the beginning of the epidemic. 

Please join CRS, the Office for Social Ministry, and many others in the United States and across the world as we commemorate World AIDS Day. To assist dioceses, parishes, schools and universities to plan their events, please visit the CRS web site for educational materials:

http://www.catholicrelief.org/get_involved/advocacy/grass_roots/support_more.cfm

 

 

New Local/Regional Events and Gatherings 


If you are planning an event that falls within the mission of social ministry, send the particulars four to five weeks in advance to the Office for Social Ministry via e-mail, osmelink@diocese-sdiego.org.  The OSM reserves the right to publish or not to publish any proposed event information.  We hope this will assist your local efforts to re-build a culture of life.

1. National Night of Prayer for Life planned for December 8, 2004

December 8 - National Night of Prayer for Life spans the Feasts of the Immaculate Conception and Our Lady of Guadalupe's first apparition to St. Juan Diego.  On December 8, 2004 parishes throughout the United States will unite in an effort to end abortion through Eucharistic Adoration and prayers of reparation.  The "hour of Unity" is from 12 midnight to 1:00 a.m. EST, so that all parishes in the four time zones can be linked in prayer across the continent at the same hour.  Contact your parish Culture of Life Coordinator to find out whether your parish is participating, or call Jo Brower at the OSM at 858-490-8323 for more information.
 

2. Holy Hour for Life Intentions scheduled monthly at St. Louise de Marillac Church In Crest

Anyone who is interested in praying for the pro-life cause, please join us on the third Thursday of each month (Thursday, December 16 is the next date) at 7:00 p.m. for a holy hour and benediction at St. Louise de Marillac Church in Crest, 2005 Crest Dr.  For information contact Molly Treadwell at

From 8 East, take Greenfield Dr. and turn right.  Take a left at the signal light (La Cresta) and go up the hill and you will come to the church on the corner.  Fr. Bob Irwin or Deacon Tim Treadwell will preside.

 

Watch for OSM e-link bulletin #30 around Wednesday, December 15, 2004  
 

 

Article/Statement for November 23, 2004


Cy Kellett, editor of the Southern Cross, has an uncanny way of relating the vices of our everyday lives, those often paraded as virtues by our materialistic culture, to their cause, thus giving us an understanding of how to cure them, or at least how to avoid embracing them as some form or goodness.  This essay has become required reading at the Peters' household.  Please enjoy Cy's wisdom.

 

When Rituals Replace Reality

Cy Kellett, The Southern Cross

Our son turned 6 recently.

My wife invited a few neighborhood friends and some cousins over. She served cake, had a piñata and let the kids play.

This doesn't sound like an act of defiance but, increasingly, this type of thing is.
Many kids' birthday parties have become major events, and there is pressure on parents to keep up. When I was a kid we loved the church festival, in part because they had one of those inflatable jump houses. Nowadays many kids don't think they're at a party unless someone rents a jump house.

Parents hire entertainers, rent pizza places, import petting zoos - anything to let the kid know that their birthday is absolutely the most important event going on anywhere on earth this particular day.

There are other areas in contemporary life in which there seems to be a creeping surfeit of rituals.

There was a time when the prom was just a very nice dance; now it is not really a prom unless someone rents a super-stretch limo. Hotel suites are involved. Unbelievable sums are spent.

And we used to graduate from high school and college. Now there are elaborate graduation ceremonies from pre-school, kindergarten, grade school, middle school and any other stage of learning we can manage to muddle through.

Weddings - don't even get me started on weddings. Good God, people bankrupt themselves for the perfect flower arrangement.

Of course, part of the reason we do these things is that we can. Our society has become rich beyond the dreams of any society in history. To be middleclass in America today is to live in luxury once reserved for emperors. Many people spend more on their annual cable bill than a Bangladeshi family might earn in a year.

But this is only part of the problem; the other reason we invest so much in the ever-grander celebration of life's rituals is that we feel we have to.

If our lives are to have meaning, then these moments of passage must be invested with almost magical power to confer that meaning. We bankrupt the family to pay for the ridiculously expensive wedding because we have invested the wedding with meaning beyond all reason.

A bride who has a magnificent wedding is, somehow, transformed into the princess she cannot be in the rest of her life. The child who has an elaborate birthday party is not just a child; he or she is, for a day, the center of creation. The kids who go off to prom in the super-stretch limo are not just gangly teens; they are special teens living through the great dream of American adolescence - "The greatest years of their lives!"

No doubt the coming decades will see innovations in the celebration of these rituals that we cannot yet imagine. A child's birthday will not be complete unless it is held on a rocket and shot around the moon. The wedding will not be a success unless a new island is built in the middle of the ocean just for this day. The prom won't be the prom unless the super-stretch limo is surrounded by police, who will escort it quickly through every traffic light as we poor souls who are no longer living the dream of American adolescence look on in envy.
Sadly, our lives will not be made fuller by any of this; our rituals will only get more grandly empty.

This is not the fault of ritual, per se. Life can be ennobled by ritual. True ritual is a means to touch what is deeper in our lives. Baptism, for example, is a rather plain, even sparse ritual - all it takes is a little water - but when we know what is underneath the actions of this ritual, we find they expresses an incomprehensible beauty.

Life that is dubious about its own meaning, however, cannot be made fuller by ritual; it can only be given the veneer of fullness. It seems to me that this is what we are doing when we inflate what should be the little rituals of everyday life, turning them into festivities that would make the Roman Empire blush.

We are trying to find meaning through ritual, instead of letting rituals express a meaning that is deeper than ourselves.

It has always amused me when proudly secular people make fun of religious rituals and then go off to their New Years Eve extravaganzas and their Super Bowl parties and their elaborate Valentine's Day trysts.

You can't get away from ritual; it is part of our nature. But when a birthday party turns into a circus, when a wedding rivals the splendor of the Academy Awards - ritual has replaced real life and become an ever more demanding tyrant.

And, no matter how big the jump house, the emptiness remains unfilled.

From the November 4, 2004 edition of The Southern Cross